I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. It will spare me the pain.""No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I have an appointment with my Edgware lawyer the day after tomorrow.""Well, all right, I promise. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the Seder. After 6 months of classes, the Rabbi tells Manny, "OK, now you can be a Cohen.""The 2nd envelope contained 10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’.Call your sister in New Jersey and break the news to her. I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favourite foods for the shiva, including some fine malt whisky.""Mum, I've decided to go back into the closet.
If he comes from this area, he must be Jewish because this is, after all, a Jewish area.
On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going? He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? The Bernsteins are a terrible family, so he must be visiting the Steinbergs.
But if he comes from Budapest, with all the anti-Semitism they have there, he must have changed his name. A priest and a rabbi were sharing a compartment on a train. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing your mother.""It's too painful to talk about it.
After a while, the priest put down his book and said to the Rabbi, "I know that in your religion you're not supposed to eat pork... I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I've agonised over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision.
"Pastor Lewis," he said, "That was very well done, you were just perfect.
But next time, please don't start your sermon with, "Fellow Goyim..."school, as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Uncle Sid.
Others said, "I think the greatest man who ever lived was Alexander the Great because he conquered the whole world." and "I think it was Thomas Edison, because he invented the light bulb.""I think the greatest man who ever lived was Jesus Christ." said Moishe.
Angela was shocked but still gave him the 50 reward.
You'll never get any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."Then Sarah started to cry.